Thursday, 12 April 2012

A-Z Blogging challenge

K is for kindergarten snake

"What do you think this is? This ain't some kind of kindergarten snake, matey!"
   - "Gory" Reg Teevs, gnomish dungeoneer par excellence

A prime example of the specialized jargon developed by adventurers, the phrase 'kindergarten snake' has of late become increasingly popular with those of this particular branch of the salvaging profession. The term was originally coined to signify a substantive hazard that is being ignored or underestimated, resulting in a potentially life-threatening situation. In its unadulterated form it thus usually refers to an actual creature intrepid explorers may encounter ("That golden wyrm is no kindergarten snake!"), though it may also be more loosely applied to refer to locations or events in general, taking on the meaning of the word 'sinecure', albeit with the implied notion of danger ("Getting that mysterious black box down was no kindergarten snake!").

The exact origin of the expression remains shrouded in mystery. Some swear it sprouted from the brain of the enigmatic gnomish adventurer "Gory" Reg Teevs, while others claim it harkens back to a certain obscure orcish ritual. It is said that the orc tribes of the northern hills round up their infants once a year and place them in a small pen containing several rattlesnakes trapped on the far end. Those orc children who make their way over to the snakes and get bitten are then left to die; the orcs consider it a clever measure to weed out the more stupid specimens of their tribe straight away. It is possible that tales of this first rite of passage got warped into the idea that orcs give their toddlers snakes to play with, hence 'kindergarten snakes'.


  1. "I was there at its inception! Twas old Gory I tell thee, in one of his fits." -- The raving Monar

    1. The origin of the term remains hidden to you so called dungeoneering heathens and don't be tryin to figure out or imitate me ramblings, you aint no Gnome! And what's with all this Orc cobblers!

      DM Steve Gregory, aka "Gory" Reg Teevs

    2. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery dear Gory!